Staying independent
In the early years of our lives, we learn how to become independent – how to stand on our own two feet, quite literally. As we get older, we gain more skills to help us live in the world until we feel confident that we can head out on our own. Being independent becomes such a natural way of living that we can take it for granted until health issues or the simple passing of time start to throw up roadblocks to what was once so easy.
Maintaining a level of independence is crucial for our sense of wellbeing. As we age, it becomes an even bigger focus and will look very different depending on individual circumstances – independence could be having the ability to drive to the shops alone, or it might just be choosing which music to listen to after dinner.
Here, we look at the importance of independence for elders and how to help them maintain it.
Why is independence important?
Just like when you got behind the wheel on your own for the first time, independence brings a sense of freedom and control. It is also tied to important feelings of purpose, achievement, identity and self-worth.
For elders, any loss of independence can be seen as “the beginning of the end” – a loss of control over their own lives and what is happening to them. Having some level of independence can help to keep those feelings at bay.
How can elders stay independent?
Research around maintaining independence in old age has found that people have a better chance of keeping their independence if they have an enjoyable, healthy and active life beforehand.
Looking after mental and physical health, having good relationships with family and friends, a positive sense of self, and financial resources are all associated with a person being able to live independently as they age.
Helping a person to stay as independent as possible will vary depending on their situation and abilities, but there is support and care available that can make it easier.
How to help maintain independence
Health
Prevention is better than cure. Help them stay well by making sure they are taking any prescribed medications regularly and attending any scheduled health appointments. Discuss any concerns as they come up and go to the doctor with them if they prefer.
Exercise and mobility
Help them to get or stay active. You can read more about the importance of mobility here. It could be a gentle walk in the park, a session of low impact aquarobics, or 20 minutes of gardening. Being outside and moving their body is important for wellbeing and overall health.
Falls are a major cause of loss of independence, so make sure their home environment is safe by clearing clutter, loose rugs, cords or other trip hazards. Make sure that rooms have good lighting and add night-lights to bathrooms and hallways to make moving around easy.
Driving
The freedom that driving brings is a huge part of a person’s sense of independence, but the ability to drive safely can be affected as we age. You can read more about driving and the elderly here.
Encourage them to get their eyesight and hearing checked annually and check with their doctor as to whether any medical conditions or medications might interfere with their driving ability. They might need a permit to use mobility parking spaces, or even vehicle modifications to make driving easier.
If driving is no longer an option for them, it doesn’t mean they have to be stuck at home. See if family members, friends or neighbours can help, or if there are local community groups that offer transport options. If they’re comfortable with the idea of public transport, help them to research the local options. You could even go with them the first few times they catch the bus or train.
Friends and community connection
Connecting with others helps to stimulate the brain and promotes feelings of wellbeing. Catching up with friends or joining community groups for outings or other activities are great ways for maintaining social skills, and learning something new keeps the brain active. Volunteering at a local school with reading assistance for children or other activities is also a great way to find a sense of purpose and connection.
Hobbies
Whatever their passion, help them to stay involved in some way. They might not be able to garden anymore, for example, but could take pleasure in an afternoon at the local botanic gardens or visiting a flower show. If they love quilting there could be a community group to join, or sports fans could enjoy a trip to a club game. Keen cooks might delight in helping to prepare a special meal for friends or family.
Support their social life
Help them to find out about local social activities, to organise meet-ups with friends, and make sure they’re aware of upcoming family events. Offer to take them or help them to organise transport.
Stay in touch
It’s never been easier to keep in touch. If they’re happy using a smartphone you could set up a WhatsApp group for a few family members or their friends. It’s amazing how much more communication happens when sharing a photo or saying ‘good morning’ is just a screen tap away. Try video calls, or a regular phone call or weekly coffee catch-up for you both to look forward to.
Keep the brain busy
It’s important for our brains to have a sense of purpose – no matter how small! Jigsaw puzzles, crosswords, sudoku or even daily Wordle are all great ways to stimulate the brain and get it working.
Any decision-making helps
Independence comes in many forms. If they’re more restricted in what they’re able to do, let them choose what’s for dinner, or the brand of orange juice that you buy, or the music to listen to in the car. Ask them to help plan the meals, fold the washing or put the dishes away to help foster a feeling of achievement and contribution.
Independence at any stage
If they’re living alone or with a partner and are reasonably active, encourage them to stay active and connected in the ways suggested above.
If they’re still living in their own home but no longer drive or need help with day-to-day chores, there are lots of options available to help them be independent in their own familiar environment.
A good first step is to get a needs assessment to make sure they’re well set-up at home and getting the support they require. This assessment will look at their overall situation (mental, physical and environmental) and identify any risks and ways to reduce them.
From there, it’s easier to make a plan around how they can receive that support while still maintaining their independence in other areas.
Some areas to consider are:
home-based support services (meal delivery, housework, medical care).
caregivers – these professionals can assist, support and empower, rather than take over tasks entirely.
If they need more comprehensive care, then establishing a plan in tandem with their doctor and other health care professionals is a good idea, and will usually involve a needs assessment. If they want to stay in their home, you could look at:
equipment to help with showering and using the toilet, such as rails
bedding systems
access ramps or automatic door openers
structural modifications to support them being mobile and independent in their home e.g. widening halls and doorways, or creating a ‘wet area’ bathroom with rails and seats.
medical alarms – these can notify emergency services when activated and can give you and your loved one peace of mind if an emergency arises.
regular caregiving assistance
The importance of choice
Feelings of independence can sit across a wide spectrum. Little adjustments or extra support in daily life can go a long way to helping a person maintain some independence and be involved in making choices about their life as time goes on. Having the patience to keep offering a person those choices is an important and lovely gift of recognition and care.
